The pundits would have us believe that Mitt Romney is the only person in the universe who can beat Barak Obama and lead the Republican party. The former is just false, but the latter may be true (which is a sorry statement for the Party). Let's see, Donald Trump is not good enough because he speaks his mind, has funny hair, and takes no prisoners. Rick Perry is not smart enough despite the fact that he is a very successful governor of one of the most successful conservative states in the country. Herman Cain is not smart enough and always wants to have sex with white bimbos (you know those black men). Newt Gingrich, well I guess they concede he's not dumb. But you know, he may be too smart. He has too many ideas. He is also way too outspoken and he seems to like women also (is he a black man too?!).
Mitt Romney on the other hand, has led a perfect life (just ask him). He never makes mistakes, he is always reserve and truthful (except when he is making $10,000 bets and lying through his teeth). He is a true leader on all sides of every issue and has the impeccable conservative credentials of having been governor of the most liberal state in the union, having run to the left of Ted Kennedy in a senatorial election, and having given his state the equivalent of Obamacare. This is the man who must be the Republican standard bearer - no one else will do. The pundicrats tell us that Newt is a "baaaad" man. He may have done a fews trifling things like having swept Republicans to power for the first time in forty years; having balanced four federal budgets in a row; reforming welfare; presiding over an unemployment rate under 5%, and an economy which created 11 million jobs; but these things pale in comparison to the fact that 34 years ago, he had a troubled marriage. It is very important that the pundits are able to help us keep the proper perspective on this. It is really not important that some pundits call Newt progressive; some call him moderate; and others call him ultra conservative - What IS important is that it is just not his turn to run for President and he is really upsetting the apple cart. It is Mitt Romney's turn (you know, just like it was Bob Dole's turn, and John McCains's turn - fair is fair, afterall).The pundits are not without support for their position - just ask the Republican establishment elite. They HATE Newt. The extremely popular Republican Congressional crew (9% approval rating) all tell us that Newt will bring all their good work to a halt (you know, like keeping the debt just under $25 T in ten years). The anti-Newt Republican luminaries are legion and formidable like Dan (I can't spell potato) Quayle and Bill ( I resigned in disgrace because I'm a compulsive gambler) Bennet. Bennet (who is, of course always the smartest guy in the room) informs us that Newt is bad because he has to be the smartest guy in the room (no jealously here though).
And then there are the Iowans. They have now assured us that we will NEVER be rid of negative ads. Paul and Romney have now spent $9M on negative advertising and the Iowans are sucking it up like vacuum cleaners on QVC (the shopping channel). A supposedly Christian state which is being swayed by lies and deceit. A state where some evangelical pastors have come out and condemned Newt for marriage infidelity despite his repentance, yet have no problem with Romney believing that Satan and Jesus are brothers.
The things I think about these people are not fit for print. There are times I want to wash my head out with soap. So, no doubt about it - I AM GOING TO HELL. The only consolation, is that I know all these idiots are coming with me so I can torment them for eternity. .
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